Ant Spray

Philippians 2:14-16a

"Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life..."

Grumbling (or complaint), and the attitude behind it, can be hard not to catch. My newly four-year-old has been struggling with a whiney attitude this past year, and I have noticed my own attitude grow increasingly difficult to control. I'll give you an example. 

This morning found me washing the dishes, strainer, and counters in the wake of an ant invasion. Little black bodies littered my counters amid plates, cups, and silverware, telltale signs of where my husband had sprayed. Where were my thoughts? Making a mental list of all the things to complain about:

• chronic back pain only dulled by the meds made worse by standing to wash the dishes;
• whiney and disobedient son;
• recognition of handling said whining poorly;
• no dishwasher to take care of these dishes;
• ant spray all over my kitchen;
• ant spray too near my breast pump accessories (rewash - can't let that near the baby);
• having to drain and refill the dishwater to try to keep the ant spray from building up on the washed dishes;
• not pumping enough breast milk lately... 

...you get the idea. I was not exercising God's joy. Later in the day, I realized my error of looking for what to complain about rather than be thankful for. 

Begin internal dialogue:

"Okay, what should I be thankful for?"

"What annoyed you the most today?"

"The most? Well doing the dishes was the hardest part of my day because it took so long and my back hurting from it, and the ant spray precipitated that. So let's say ant spray."

"Then start there. How can you be thankful for this particular instance of ant spray?"

"Well, the Lord uses trials to make me more like Christ, so I can be thankful that He used the ant spray to continue working on that front."

"Mhmm. Would you rather still have ants swarming your kitchen?"

"Yeah, no. No ants is a good thing."

"Right, what else?"

"Well... He used this instance to point out that I haven't been pursuing thankfulness as much as I thought I was lately."

"Yeah, that's a good one!"

I smiled. I really was thankful for ant spray - this particular instance - and I hadn't even had to work that hard for it. I just had to turn my full intentions toward it, and let the truths I knew about God do the rest. 

I praise the Lord and thank Him for ant spray. Especially that He used it to show me where my heart and thoughts have been lately. It is even His grace that He opened my eyes to this before I sank into depression, which is inevitably where the road of complaint leads.  Now I have renewed my resolve (and intentionality) to pursue a thankful heart. Praise the Lord for His gentle reminders.

Lightning Show

Jeremiah 29:11

"'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.'"

The day I started writing this was a bit rough. As I waited three hours to see my doctor, I let the pain climb to six on my pain scale before I popped a couple Motrin. (I barely kept from crying.) I had my reasons, but it was my own fault for I waited so long. Of course, God was sovereign through it, and I can even see some of the good that came from it.

After the rest of the day's events, I started the drive home... to behold God's lightning show in a front row seat! Watching lightning makes me smile. I'm not arrogant enough to say God produced that show just for me (He's too efficient for that!), but I felt the real privilege of inclusion. The grace - the unmerited favor - of allowing me to watch as He puppeteered His creation into a beautiful display helped bring my mind around from the troubles of the day. It reminded me of His good and sovereign plan (Jeremiah 29:11); I could almost feel Him hold my hand as I beheld His glory in the night sky. 

In this amazing relationship with my Savior, I find many such moments - especially if I keep an eye out. What is a moment in which He shared His love and glory with you?

The Way of Escape

1 Corinthians 10:13

"No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it."

My biggest temptation right now is impatience with my children. No parent can relate to that, right? The things that make me realize my impatience are when I hear my voice rise or grow hard, or when I start to roll my eyes with a heavy sigh. I have to stop and check my motive. Most of the time, I don't really want to do that right then. And yet... 1 Corinthians 10:13 comes to mind. God has provided a way of escape in my temptation. I have a choice each moment to sin and love myself first or my children first. I can put my own desires over how I treat them, or I can treat them like my neighbor, as the famous biblical commandment goes. ("...love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:39) Love is always a choice first, with the feelings following your choices.

I am thankful for the choice not to sin; that God is sovereign and gracious enough to provide the way of escape when I am tempted. While I may not particularly care for the responsibility of the choice, I am glad for the freedom of choice. Isn't it interesting how God's sovereignty allows for my free will? So often, those two things seem to be in conflict, and yet, from God's "10,000-foot view" it all makes sense.

I thank the Lord for "the way of escape," not only for the freedom to choose, but for the knowledge that I can do something about my sin. Each time I catch myself in an eye roll and sigh that shows where my focus is (myself), I also know that I can choose to shift my focus. To exercise 2 Corinthians 10:5 and take "...every thought captive to the obedience of Christ[.]" I'm not stuck; God has provided a way out. I need to look for it, and to choose God's love.

What do you do that warns you're headed down the wrong path? How can you change your thoughts or actions to align with Christ's will?

Beyond the Trial

Proverbs 31:25

"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future."

Before a known upcoming trial, I often struggle to smile at the future. It is, of course, much easier after the fact. I am thankful for the Lord's grace when I am between multiple trials of the same kind and am able to smile at the next one.

Ordinarily, I take the night shift with my four-month-old, but my husband will spell me if she won't go back to sleep. Not so, lately, as he has been needed more at work and church. Also, My babysitting is out of commission for the next four weeks due to surgery or vacation; my best friend is leaving; and I just had to bow out of a weekly game that I was planning to enjoy with my friends. All of this leaves me home alone with the kiddos without much way to get out or have me time. I am between these trials, looking at the future.

Through God's grace, I am smiling.

Not because I am looking forward to the trial, but because of where my focus is. God will see me through it. He has seen me through past trials and He will see me through this coming trial. God is faithful.

Each trial He allows in my life leaves me with more knowledge about how to deal with the next one in a way that would glorify God. Looking back, I remember the feelings of dread upon looking toward the future of more time without my hubby and with my little kiddos alone. The actual occurrence wasn't even as rough as I thought it would be.  I knew my focus was in the wrong place at the time, but I still found it hard to shift. 

Now, after a few of those trials, I have some "proof" of God's ability to get me through, with which I can soothe and turn my feelings. It is easier to see His light in their midst, to see what He has taught me through the trial, and to look ahead at more without dread. So, even though I wasn't thinking of what I should have been in the moment, God, in His grace, gave me "proof" of why I should shift my focus. And, for now, at least, I am smiling. (I'm still working on the strength and dignity part. It's a learning experience!)

What are you struggling with today? Has God proven His reliability to you? Can you use that to help you shift your focus - whether you're looking at this moment or the future?

Reminders

2 Peter 1:12

"Therefore, I will always be ready to remind you of these things, even though you already know them, and have been established in the truth which is present with you."

In my walk with God, it took me a rather long time before I realized the true importance of reminders. If I already knew something about God, I didn't see much point in going back over it unless there might be something more to be gleaned (it isn't called the Living Word for nothing). I noticed this most when my Biblical Counselor gave me an assignment to read a number of verses and write down the main point of each. As I worked through the list, I began to feel like I had just been given busywork. I didn't have time for busywork.

The epiphany didn't come until further into the counseling process, but the Lord convicted me of my pride of knowledge versus my forgetfulness. I don't have the greatest memory, but I'm referring more to when the Bible talks about how mankind is quick to forget. Israel did it time and again, and if we're honest with ourselves, we do it, too.  I may know a truth, but that doesn't mean I live it. 

Now, when I hear someone mention a truth they've just discovered, I don't just think, "Ah, so that's what they're learning right now."  I consider, "Is my life reflecting that truth?"

My son is three-and-a-half years and my daughter is just over four months old; I'm still dealing with some post-partum hormones and the rebellion of the threes. I'm also struggling with a pain in my rib that isn't subsiding with physical therapy, and my son wrecked the control to the fan in his room.  I cried.

As I sat there on the floor with his sweet voice reassuring me, I tried to pull myself back together. Then I heard, "It's okay, Mommy, you don't have to cry, because God is here." 

That got my attention. 

"You're right, buddy," I sniffed. "You're absolutely right."  I knew it was God's grace that my little man was reminding me of God's presence. I felt His love in that moment, and several truths came flooding to mind.  God works all things together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28); God gives me the strength to carry out His righteousness (Philippians 4:13); I'm not alone in my temptation and I don't have to give in to it (1 Corinthians 10:13); God's grace is sufficient for me (2 Corinthians 12:9).  With these under my belt, I was able to continue the day as a mother through God's strength, rather than my own. 

Which of His truths do you need to be reminded of today?

Not in Vain

Romans 8:28

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those that love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

I have struggled with chronic pain since I was a child. Over the years, I have had my good phrases and bad phases, the moments of asking "why?" and the moments of sharing God's goodness in the midst of the pain. The phrase, "This, too, shall pass" used to be my mantra - especially during the worst of the pain. That precise phrase isn't in the Bible, though it says something similar: "...weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning" (Psalm 30:5) and "For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:17-18) What these verses have over the phrase is a specific hope of WHAT (or Who) is in the future, rather than a simple focus on this moment passing. "This, too, shall pass" seems to place its hope in the fact that the moment will pass rather than on our eternal hope in Christ. 

That eternal hope in Christ is what brings me to thankfulness for my pain, because God wastes nothing; my pain is not in vain. Christ uses my pain not only in my life, but also in the lives of others. He is growing me, and more and more I am learning how to give Him the glory He is due. It can be difficult to be thankful for pain, but the more I focus on Christ and His truths, the easier it becomes. In today's society, we are taught to avoid pain if at all possible, but sometimes, pain is worth it and can even be good. Christ knows this better than anyone - it is why He chose to take our punishment upon Himself. 

I rejoice, not in the fact that it hurts, but in Christ's Victory - that He will use the pain for His glory and the good of His children. May the Lord's will be first in my life, as it was in Christ's!

Life on Earth

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

"Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us eternal comfort and good hope by grace, comfort and strengthen your hearts in every good work and word."

The Bible often refers to the world in regard to the sinful people who live in it. "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." (Romans 12:2a). As christians, I think we (or at least I) have a tendency to take this a little far: the world is a horrible place to be. Granted, we are to "be in the world, not of the world," but that doesn't mean that life here is drudgery. Part of the beauty of a life of following Christ is - because of His grace - we can be joyful despite our circumstances.

I long to be with Christ in heaven, and I hate this world in comparison, but God still gives "good things" and "perfect gifts" (James 1:17) on this earth. It is here on earth where He chose to create the living, here where He put me, and here where He uses me now. It is here that He has given me a three-year-old son to jet out of the house to tell me goodbye with a hug and a kiss before I go. Here that I have a four-month-old daughter who often smiles at me with a coy little grin. God has given me a life here, and as much as I long to be serving sinlessly in His more tangible presence, I enjoy the life He has given me on earth.

May I be cognizant to show that joy in His grace and good gifts, that others, too, might know of His goodness - even in this life.