Gentle and Lowly

Exodus 34:6-7a
"The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in faithfulness and truth; who keeps faithfulness for thousands, who forgives wrongdoing, violation of His law, and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished..."

Matthew 11:29
"'Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'"

Is God angry with His children? Perhaps you've struggled with this idea, as I have. You know you're saved, you know you aren't condemned to hell (Romans 8:1), but you still see God as angry with you every time you sin. How could He not be? Isn't He constantly grading our performance, tracking every detail in His Book of Life?

Yet what drove God to call His children to Him in the first place? Was it our performance? Our obedience? Our moral excellence? No. God called us because of His own unconditional love. It isn't about us. It's about Him. God knew every sin we would commit beforehand, and He still chose us; it wasn't about us - it was about showing His glory. 

I submit to you: the fact we aren't perfect is the very thing God uses to draw others to Himself through us. We don't draw people to God by being perfect; people are drawn by the knowledge that God loves us despite our imperfections - despite our sin. Contrary to our instinctual reactions, we shouldn't hide our sins and pretend we're perfect. Instead, we are to be transparent about our sin and repent of it. In this way, God has turned even our sins into a way to glorify God - to point out His compassion, grace, and mercy.

As Paul says in Romans 6:15 this does not give us license to sin, but it does mean God expected us to sin. This is Plan A. God does not need a contingency plan. God must punish sin, but He has already dealt that punishment - on His only begotten Son. There is no anger left for you, His child, saved by His love, mercy, and grace. These are what is left after the sacrifice of the holy and perfect Lamb.

I think so often of my own frustration with my children when they do not obey, and think God must be so frustrated with me. Yet that very word - frustrate - means to "prevent (a plan or attempted action) from progressing, succeeding, or being fulfilled." No plan of God's can be thwarted, or frustrated (Job 42:2). God is not like a human parent. 

So what is the significance of this? God's heart toward His children is not one of anger - even when we sin. He paid that price and it is finished. Now, it's time to repent, and move on - which God is here to help with! He doesn't call me to repent before I come to Him; He calls me to come to Him so I can repent! This is (a piece of) the grace and wonder of God: that every part of our salvation and sanctification (ongoing progress toward Christ-likeness) is performed by His own hand. We rely on Him every step of the way - or we face the natural consequences of attempting to do it ourselves.

These natural consequences are not God's anger, they are His discipline. Discipline and anger are not the same thing. Discipline is solely meant for the good of the one being disciplined. It is meant for instruction, not punishment. Again, that punishment has already been taken. Discipline is instruction, and we are foolish not to accept it.

If you struggle with thinking of God as angry, or struggle with understanding how He could be "gentle and humble of heart," I would highly suggest reading Dane Ortlund's book, Gentle and Lowly. It is a beautiful encouragement and insight into the heart of our Lord.

I thank God He is gentle and lowly. He doesn't lord my failures over me, or drive me into the ground with guilt, but rather that He grants me mercy, and then even beyond that gives me grace to be in relationship with Him - with Love Himself.

Eternity Ahead

Titus 3:7

"...so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life."

God has struck me lately with the idea of eternity. Eternity with Christ is something I look forward to. I cannot even fathom a life without sin in a regenerated body! God fills me with awe and thankfulness at the amazing grace of this generous act of salvation. Yet, what exactly does eternity mean for us now, in each of life's moments? 

When you think about it, I don't know that there's any good thing here we won't be able to do in heaven... consider that a moment. Whatever gifts you want to cultivate, whatever projects you want to complete... we have an eternity to enjoy God and His gifts. But what about the people? 

I think eternity focuses our perspective on what really does matter. What are we here for? We are here because God is longsuffering: 

"The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance." 

- 2 Peter 3:9

There is one thing we won't be able to do in heaven: save the lost. By then, all of God's children will be accounted for. Please understand, I'm not claiming WE can save the lost - only God can bring a person to that point - but God does call us to witness. Our lives here are the only testimony some have of our loving Father. I quickly lose track of my witness in the day-to-day necessities of life... and I start to think more about what would make things easier here, rather than what's important in the face of eternity. Yet the reason (so far as my human eyes can see) Jesus hasn't yet returned to claim His rightful place is that He is "...patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance."

I don't know about you, but I'm not "gifted" in evangelism. I can't strike up a conversation with a random person I just met and bring them to Christ on the spot, then continue on my merry way (at least, it hasn't happened yet - God can do anything). This doesn't mean I'm not called to evangelism. Let me explain. 

Many of us have put evangelism in a box: you meet a person, take them along the "Romans Road" or show them the "Bridge Illustration" and thereby share the gospel with them. There is ABSOLUTELY a place for that - but this is not the extent of evangelism. Our every moment lived out in front of people is our testimony - our evangelism to others. God placed you where you are in life to show Himself to those only you know; to minister through you as only you are positioned to. As a mother, a wife, an understanding friend, God has placed you where you are to minister His love, thereby glorifying Him. How we deal with trials, how we enjoy God's gifts, how we live... these are our testimonies of God. 

This does not absolve us of broaching the subject of salvation; it gives our words weight when we share. Don't expect the opportunity to always come to you; be as intentional about sharing Christ as you are about seeking Christ.

Who is the Lord putting on your heart to share His love with? Don't be afraid! 

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." 

- Matthew 28:19-20

Moments of Clarity

James 1:14-17

"But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow."

You know those moments when it’s like God just opens your eyes and you can see something for what it is? If you’ve known God for any length of time, you know what I mean. Otherwise, you can just think back to when God opened your eyes for the first time to follow Him. When you realized He is all you’ll ever need or have needed. 

I recently realized I've lost my peace in the Lord, and have been pondering why. I simply have so much to do, so much I want to accomplish, so much desire to be more; it’s insatiable. Our culture encourages this. Yet God is not my God if I cannot simply enjoy Him. If I want something more than I want God and His plan for me, then I have let an idol take hold in my heart; of course I've lost my peace!

God did not create me to enjoy life later, or when I have achieved my ideal. God created me to enjoy His good gifts now. I don't need to be perfect to have joy. I don't need to treat myself to escape this life; I can enjoy the treats God has provided in this life if I intentionally look for them. Looking ahead isn't bad, so long as I don't lose sight of His good gifts around me.

The Lord Himself is my portion (Lamentations 3:24) and He's right here. Dwell on that a moment. Nothing has entered my world that hasn't already passed through His loving hands. He has joy for me here. I don't want to miss it!

How prideful am I if I require more than what He’s already given me to be happy, to be content - to be at peace. I am thankful for moments of clarity, that in this one, God showed me my focus and hope was in the wrong place. Now, I choose this moment to enjoy the circumstances He’s given me. To marvel at the life He’s given. To enjoy Him and His perfect gifts from above.

What good gift of His can you enjoy right now?

My Insignificance

Job 38:25-33

"Who has cleft a channel for the flood,

Or a way for the thunderbolt 

To bring rain on a land without people,

On a desert without a man in it,

To satisfy the waste and desolate land

And to make the seeds of grass to sprout?

Has the rain a father?

Or who has begotten the drops of dew?

From whose womb has come the ice?

And the frost of heaven, who has given it birth?

Water becomes hard like stone, 

nd the surface of the deep is imprisoned.

Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades,

Or loose the cords of Orion?

Can you lead forth a constellation in its season,

And guide the Bear with her satellites?

Do you know the ordinances of the heavens,

Or fix their rule over the earth?"

Have you ever stopped to consider the immensity of our Almighty God? When I really take the time to dwell on it, I stand in awe. God is SO big and SO great! Creation is the easiest way I find to meditate on His immensity, artistry, creativity, and even love. It's the most tangible and evident of His works.

Take one tiny piece of His creation: a tree. Every leaf it buds, every flower it blooms, every branch it grows, every ring in its trunk is fashioned by His hand, designed specifically for that tree. Even its parts have pieces and parts - like a leaf. You start to hone in toward DNA, molecules and atoms, and then even quarks and quasars... at least millions of atoms are required to create ONE tree. Double that complexity when you introduce a new species of tree... and keep going for each of the over 6,000 species of tree in the world! We haven't even gotten to the other nearly 400,000 species of plants, yet. Not to mention animals (don't get me started on the ability to THINK and everything that affects!). 

How much more is God doing moment-by-moment? Well, a tree isn't just a painting or a sculpture; it's a living thing with a job that both requires and affects its environment. Its dark green leaves contain chlorophyll so it can absorb the sun's energy to then take in carbon dioxide from the air and water (funneled up from its roots), which it then converts into carbohydrates and oxygen. God created every single piece of this process to work in harmony. He created every plant and animal for a purpose - even if it's sometimes just to be pretty (so far as we know). Each part affects another, creating an ecosystem... of which we also have many different kinds in the world.

Every aspect of our earth is so intricate! There are so many different types of elements, minerals, and rock. The way our earth's crust and core and tectonic plates work together is a larger-scale illustration of His work - not to mention the atmosphere and what keeps our world together. Then there's keeping it on the right path for all our seasons, etc. in our solar system - not to mention the universe! God created and MAINTAINS every atom in the entire universe! The magnitude just blows my mind!

In that grand scheme, I consider myself. I am nothing! And yet... God still created me for His purpose: to make me more like Him and to bring Him glory. God loves me in my insignificance (not despite it!). He made me to glorify Him! THAT is an amazing thing! I am so thankful for the fact He made me insignificant, for a multitude of reasons.

I am not all-wise, all-powerful, all-knowing, or all-present. I wouldn't be even if I were perfect. If I had to control everything (and we didn't even go into thoughts and feelings and human interaction!), the universe would implode in a heartbeat. I don't even have true control over MY next heartbeat. To be able to put all that control into the hands of the Almighty God, the I AM, who is all-wise, all-powerful, all-knowing, all-present, and who loves me so much He bore the ultimate suffering to make a way I could be with Him - despite all the evil I commit against Him... yes... I am thankful for my insignificance, because it means I don't have to worry. Instead, it simply reveals God's amazing power, grace, and love.

How is God revealing His power, grace, and love to you today?

God's Plan

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son..."

Romans 8:28-29a

"'Will you really annul My judgment? Will you condemn Me that You may be justified?'"

Job 40:8

Thank you, Lord, that my every circumstance has passed through Your hands. Not just the big circumstances, but the moments when the traffic light changes (or doesn't); when I slip and fall; when my children are being wonderful or whiney. In every moment, small or large, You work all things to make us more like You. 

I don't always appreciate it; I'm not always in line with You. Help me to recognize Your purpose in those moments. Help me contemplate rather than criticize Your plan. Turn my heart toward You in humble trust; don't let me elevate myself to pride thinking I can judge You. Thank You for Your grace that suffers my prideful thinking until You turn me back to You. Thank You that You have made a way for me to even approach You in Your holiness. Thank You, Lord, for Your plan.

Drawing Near

Psalm 119:25-29, 31-32

"My soul cleaves to the dust; Revive me according to Your word. I have told of my ways, and You have answered me; Teach me Your statutes. Make me understand the way of Your precepts, So I will meditate on Your wonders. My soul weeps because of grief; Strengthen me according to Your word. Remove the false way from me, And graciously grant me Your law... I cling to Your testimonies; O LORD, do not put me to shame! I shall run the way of Your commandments, For You will enlarge my heart."

Day to day I find myself striving. I want to be more; I want to be better. I want to watch myself ascend a ladder of continual progression, and when I see that imaginary tick mark drop, I struggle. Perhaps you can relate.

The verses above really struck me with a point God has been repeating to me of late. I can't do it. Nothing I do will make me worth more, and none of my progress on that ladder is a result of my efforts. I've been focused on the wrong thing: myself. The way to become "better" is not to focus on myself and how I can be better, but to draw near to God and to meditate on Him and His living Word.

The verses above (and throughout Psalm 119) ask God to be the source behind everything the author asks. "Revive me," has been a plea of my own heart lately. How can I be revived? "...[A]ccording to Your Word." (Psalm 119:25) "I have told You of my ways, and You have answered me; Teach me Your statutes." (Psalm 119:26, emphasis added.) I'm no Bible scholar, but I see "You have answered me" and I think of Job 38-42, when God answered Job, pointing him to the greatness of God and His power. In view of that greatness, God, teach me Your statutes! Each verse in Psalm 119 is such a great picture of the value of God's Word and what we should do with it. For all this worth, I cling to His Word and will follow it because God will enlarge my heart. Anything I do is because of Him!

It's not about being better, or more, or enough; it's about drawing near to God. He knows everything about me - all my failures, all my problems, my every thought - and still, He loves me. (Not because He sees something special in me; anything special in me is a direct result of His creation.) If I can't be comfortable with a God who knows everything about me and still loves me, it's because I'm prideful; I want to be able to do it in my own strength, which would bring glory to me instead of Him. Christ died to purify me so I can be in God's presence continually - so I can draw near to Him!

God, thank You for Your grace to grant me the power and means to cling to Your Word, thus renewing my mind and drawing near to You. Enlarge my heart as I dwell on Your Word, that I might draw near to You and glorify You as a result. Thank You that becoming better is all about drawing near to You, which results in You changing my delights and desires to follow, obey, and ultimately glorify You.

Philippians 1:6

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."

First Love

Revelation 2:3-5a
"...and you have perseverance and have endured for My name's sake, and have not grown weary. 'But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 'Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first..."

In an attempt to improve myself and get everything done, I've boiled much of life down to a task list. I've been quite thankful for my helpful task lists; I miss less. Yet, while completing the nighttime prayers task on my list, God gently chided me on my plan of attack. He made me realize I've lost my "first love," as mentioned in the verse above, and thus, my reason to do tasks in the first place. 

"First love" in this verse, refers to Christ. My desire to complete a task has more or less replaced my desire to love (and thus serve) Christ. Life easily becomes about doing, rather than serving. Achieving, rather than loving. Myself, rather than Christ.

How did I lose that first love? Achieving isn't inherently against Christ, so where did I go wrong? I lost my original motivation behind achieving. God always looks at the heart, and we are so quick to think about ourselves instead of Him. I wanted the glory of finishing a task, rather than serving Him through my achievement.

This is why I find thankfulness so important. When I thank God for His good gifts, it helps shift me toward thinking about Him. Even in this, I can still make it about myself, as though God exists for me. Yet a good gift glorifies the giver, granting enjoyment to the recipient (and the giver), not the other way around.

Adding to my task list is not how I become a better [wife], nor does accomplishing tasks inherently make me better. Intentionally dwelling on being thankful for God's gift of [my husband and his good qualities] naturally leads me toward love, which leads to my betterment and joy. I must pray for the not-so-good things, and then leave them at His feet. In choosing to dwell on what I'm thankful for in a situation, I glorify God and become more like Christ (which also glorifies God!).

You may have noticed the brackets. Put your own goal in the first bracket and your own applicable thankful thing in the second. When you're tempted to dwell on what's going wrong, pray. Give it to God, and then practice intentionally dwelling on any applicable thankful things within your situation. God may surprise you.

I'm thankful for God's reminder of my first love. Life is so much sweeter when it's about Him instead of me!

What have you thanked God for today?