Reason to Breathe

1 Peter 1:13

"Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ."

My playlist pulled up "Reason" by Shawn McDonald on my drive to work this morning. As I listened to the lyrics "Please give me a reason to breathe," my eyes welled up with tears at the realization that I no longer live in that place of depression where I constantly and urgently wish I was no longer on earth. For many many years, life was just something to get through until I finally died and could go be with Christ. I was so ready to die. 

Somewhere in this journey of thankfulness, that changed. (See my testimony here.) Certainly, I still long to be with my Savior, and I have no qualms about dying, but it isn't this urgent desire that constantly sucks away at my soul. Now, the only way I can describe it, is that I'm content with serving my Savior in whatever capacity He chooses - which happens to be as a physically present being in this sinful world at the moment. 

I have a reason to breathe. As much as I love them, it isn't my family. It isn't my job, or hobbies, or talents. It is simply serving God. The One who saved my soul from the death penalty. The One who has been there with and for me during my whole life of depression, pain, worry, and pride, of happiness, feeling lithe, enjoying passions and talents. The One who has provided His Holy Spirit so that I can actually do good things. The One who opened my eyes to His everyday gifts and miracles. Christ is my hope, my contentment, and my reason to breathe.

This life is my privilege, given by my Savior. It is not a drudgery or a curse. Rather, "...to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21)

Philippians 1:18f-21

"Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."