Anticipation

I have found myself anticipating things more lately.  Not in that anxious “Oh no, I’d better have everything in order,” kind of way, but more just enjoying the excitement of looking forward to something coming up. 

For awhile, I was a bit afraid to look forward to things, because it can be a trap for me; I start to place my hope in.  I am trying to find the balance between looking forward to something, but not placing my hope in it, so that if the event that I’m looking forward to doesn’t come to pass, I don’t become bitter and angry.

I think I start to cross that line when I look to the upcoming event as a way for me to obtain something - usually Refreshment.  Then, if the event doesn’t come to pass, or - more likely - if I don’t receive the expected refreshment from the event, I grumble and think about how much I need rest.  

The truth is, I have placed my hope in the event rather than in God.  God may prevent or allow an event not to occur, which means that I don’t need the event.  If I feel as though I need rest, and God doesn’t grant it, that means that I “simply” need to rely upon God’s strength to see me through the moment... then the hour... then the day... the week... month... and throughout the year.  God’s grace is sufficient for me (2 Corinthians 12:9).

I am thankful that God created the feeling of anticipation for us to enjoy.  I pray that He continues to guide me and check me, that I’m not letting my hope stray from Him within my anticipation.  I look forward to His Teaching, and to my walk with Him.