My husband and I were trying to apply a Biblical view of submission in a situation that we had faced. We were having difficulty seeing eye-to-eye with the correct way to apply it. So what did my husband do? He researched it, so that he could lead me in how to be submissive.
I know that submission is a touchy subject in our society, but I cannot, in good conscience, ignore something that the Bible commands. The touchiness is not helped by society’s view of what submission is. For instance, it is not being a doormat, as the analogy often goes. For more on submission, you can see an earlier post of mine: Weekly Impressions - Submission.
In any case, I was thankful for my husband’s desire to lead. It is very refreshing to see him not just try to tell me to do something, but to try to actually lead me in it. To research what it would look like to do what he tells me to do, and to help me see how it works. To discuss it with me in a loving way until I understand what he means. It makes an incredible difference in a wife’s life for her husband to lead like a shepherd rather than a dictator. Both the husband and the wife will be more successful in their endeavors when the husband chooses to lead like a shepherd.
A dictator’s command makes it much more difficult for the follower not only to have a good attitude in following, but to be able to follow in unity, as the follower can only guess at what the dictator’s goal is. It is, however, still the follower’s responsibility to portray a Christ-like attitude should the leader dictate rather than shepherd. Christ has given us the ability to overcome our sin, and we are responsible to do so through His power. Not that it’s easy.
I am thankful for the Lord’s good work in our marriage. Tonight, I am especially thankful for my husband’s desire to lead me in an understanding way. We stand better united, and better able to portray and carry out God’s love and glory for it.
I love being a helper. It’s what I do best. As a wife who has been saved by the blood, mercy, and grace of Jesus Christ, it is also what I am called to do - and part of what I was created for. (Genesis 2:18, 20-22) It is my first and most important ministry, and I am thankful for the opportunity, and privileged to be, my husband’s helper.
Even when my husband isn’t being the easiest person to serve, I can still look to Christ, and know that my service is ultimately to Him. “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.” Colossians 3:23-24. That perspective of serving Christ (even of knowing that I will be rewarded for that service - which I can only "merit" by His power), makes it much easier to be my husband’s helper, even when he sins. I can entrust myself to God, and God has placed me under my husband to serve him.
For this task that God has given me, I am thankful. For His power to do it, I am also thankful. For the fulfillment of my purpose, and the satisfaction of that feeling, I am thankful. In God’s great power I stand.
It has been encouraging to see the Lord’s work in our marriage. He has brought different things together in each of our lives to hone a better understanding of the way He intended marriage to be. As we sort out just how to live that out, we do encounter conflict, but conflict isn’t nearly as bad as the world makes it out to be. Especially if each heart is rooted in the love of Christ, and that for one another.
I mentioned in an earlier post that God has been prompting me to make more of an effort in the care of our home. God is teaching me how to be self-disciplined amid my fatigue and chronic pain, as well as how far to push and when to rest. I was blessed to have a good night’s sleep last night, and He granted me a significant amount of energy today; I whipped out a great many chores that needed it.
My husband and I have had a few Spousal Conferences in which we have discussed differences of opinion and hashed out how to reconcile them. To be on the same page as my husband makes a huge difference in our relationship, and helps us to act in unity. Our image reflects a greater God when we work together, united in His will. The more we hash out, the more we learn about each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and point of view. It is a blessing to know my husband more.
The Lord has granted many other blessings to us in our marriage - and many that I know I haven’t even recognized. It is a blessing in and of itself to know that He blesses us. I thank the Lord for this walk with Him, and that He has given me someone else to share intimately in it.
Yep - I’m going there. I am thankful for sex. Not just because it feels good, but because it is an amazing expression of God’s glory. All things can be done for the glory of God. Even sex can be - and should be - a form of worship to Him. He designed it, and enjoying it according to His design makes for an incredible experience.
God uses a lot of symbolism. In Genesis 1:27, He starts by making man in His own image. So, we are a representation of God, as are the things that we do. Male and female, He created them. That’s two different body types to represent one God (who also happens to be multiple beings, while still one). So from the very first marriage, God represented Himself within their relationship - their union (including sex).
1 Corinthians 6:19 says, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?” If my body is a temple of God, then every act of my body is an act I perform in God’s temple. Sex not least of these, as sex is literally inside my body.
Someone pointed out to me, and I thought it was interesting to note, that the Bible only says that it’s okay to be drunk once: “...be exhilarated [literally intoxicated] always with her love.” (Proverbs 5:19c) It refers to the love of his wife. So in sex, I am enjoying God, my husband, and I can allow myself to be drunk with my husband’s love. That’s quite a high.
Further marriage symbolism in the Bible can be found in Ephesians 5:23. “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.” 1 Corinthians 11:3 also says, “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.”
This is further symbolism that my marriage is a reflection of the relationship of God with Himself. They are one God, and in our marriage, my husband and I are one flesh - often (not exclusively) represented by sex. (On a side note, Jesus always submitted to the will of the Father, and each time I submit to my husband, it is a reflection of that very relationship. For more on submission, see Weekly Impressions - Submission.) Every time I enjoy sex as He designed it, I am reflecting God’s relationship with Himself. Kind of a trip, isn’t it?
(This also brings home the seriousness of defiling that relationship - that union. If I lust after a man other than my husband, bring a new person into my exclusive relationship with God and my husband. It would be like bringing someone other than my husband into the temple of God, and having sex. I defile God and His temple. Pretty serious stuff.)
It is thus, that I am incredibly thankful for sex. Within God’s design, it is a form of worship that can bring a mountain top experience. I am so thankful that God created it out of His great love for us, and to glorify Himself.
I am thankful for the question, “How was your day?” When my husband and I don’t have much time to spend together, this is the question that helps us keep connected. It expresses interest in the other’s life and interests.
We are intentional about finding some happening in our day to share: “I’ve been awfully tired today,” or, “I felt pretty productive and got x, y, and z done,” or, “A co-worker shared something funny,” or even, “It was a pretty normal day. I did this, this, and this. I kinda wanted to get out and do more.” (or “It was kinda nice.”) The more specific we can be about events and our thoughts and feelings about those events, the more we can share with one another, and the more connected we are.
This question is a practical application of that verse I mentioned earlier this week: Philippians 2:4 - “...do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” I am thankful to have a practical application of God’s Word, and for the joy that it brings my husband and I in our marriage through Christ.
Upon waking this morning, my husband reached over and began to massage my shoulders. (Ah, my companion, I see that spark of jealousy!) My neck and shoulders are always tight - part of the reason I need traction, too - and a massage provides a measure of relief. It’s also an incredibly helpful tool for easing me into the day in the morning! (Yeah... not a morning person.)
I felt truly blessed this morning as he worked on my shoulders and neck - and threw in a few other places briefly, lest I forget to relax the rest of my body. It may seem a little backwards that helping me relax aids me to get up, but massage also increases my blood flow (another little issue of mine), and blood flow is certainly helpful to jumpstart movement.
I’m not quite sure if my husband is actually putting more effort into doing things for me, or if I’m simply noticing those efforts more in this thankful journey within my marriage. In either case, I am certainly thankful for his efforts, and for the way God is moving in our marriage through this journey. And I am thankful for massages!
One of my physical needs is traction, and I am thankful that my husband will pull my neck to grant it. As he pulls on my head, my neck will undergo a series of pops, and each one releases built-up pressure from the pull of gravity and my muscles. I can also feel a little tingling of feeling in my numb arms. It doesn’t last long, but I truly appreciate the relief it brings, and that it sets the compression process back a bit.
This past “neck-pulling session” (read traction) seemed to stretch a little further, and thus release a little more pressure, than it has in the past. It felt heavenly. If you have ever experienced a constant pain or a constant pressure, and you felt it dissipate - even just a little, or even for just a little while - you know how wonderful that feels, and how thankful you are for those moments.
I thank the Lord that He offers me those moments of respite through the ministry of my husband caring for me as he pulls my neck.
