TV Shows

My husband and I have a couple TV shows that we follow.  I am thankful for them, because it’s a way to spend a little time together when we’re just too zonked to do much else.  Or sometimes I’ll knit while I watch... that’s not cheating, right?

It isn’t enough to only watch TV shows during our time together - we can’t really connect that way.  It does have its place, though.  We can hold hands, or cuddle up and watch something that we both enjoy.  I am thankful that the Lord provided us with a way to watch TV shows together, that we still have a way to be unified, even when too tired to express thought well.

Worth

I am thankful that my worth is found in Christ.  My perfect Savior took on my sins and paid the penalty for them, lavishing His grace and mercy upon me.  I find my worth in His love.  

It is easy for me to forget that His love is not based upon anything that I do.  My actions do not change His love for me, nor the amount of pleasure that He takes within me.  Certainly, my actions reflect upon Him, and when I sin, I am a poor witness of His love, but when He looks at me He doesn’t see me; He sees His Son, my Savior.

The measure of His grace astounds me.  I am so thankful that what I do doesn’t have to be driven by a sense of worth, but is driven by a desire to please Him.  If I don’t please Him, I have but to confess, repent, and move on.  He doesn’t tell me to wallow in sorrow; He is not a god of sorrow, but of joy.

Thank You, Lord, for Your love, and the worth that You grant me.

Godly Advice

I am so glad to have people of whom I can ask godly advice.  I sought it from two people today, and also received it from a third by God’s design.  The first person I sought council from was my husband, and I am thankful for the talk we had.  It means a lot to be able to share my heart with my husband and to have him listen.  The other was a godly woman and biblical counselor whom I would ask to mentor me if she weren’t so busy.  The last was my grandma, whom I would not have ordinarily seen today, but for God’s orchestration.

They each had a different point of view on my current struggle, and each gave advice accordingly - all relevant and applicable.  That’s the best kind of advice - the kind that also explains the application.  I am thankful to have God’s people around me, that I might seek counsel that would align with His will.  Other perspectives can be invaluable - especially when I am having difficulty shifting my focus.  It helps me to see things in a new light.

I thank the Lord for godly advice, that He calmed my heart with it, and pointed me back to Him.  I pray that I might hold fast to my identity in Christ, and that I would remember that my worth is in Him.

Brokenness

Lord,

I don’t understand what You’re doing in my life.  I am discouraged.  I have so many desires - good desires - on which You have closed the door.  I feel as though I’m running the race on a treadmill to nowhere - a mouse on a wheel.  I have been giving my home life my all of late, but it just doesn’t seem to matter, or make a difference - whether in the things that I get done, or in my husband’s mind.  He doesn’t seem to understand.

I am frustrated.  I feel thwarted.  I know that You have a purpose, but I can’t seem to keep my focus on You.  Something is really bothering me, like a deep discontent that I cannot assuage.  Help me to take joy in You.  I thank You for all the things that You have done for me - I do not deserve them in the slightest, and I live by Your grace.  Why can I not hold onto that?  

“Cease striving and know that I am God...” (Psalm 46:10a).

Lord, what is the difference between striving and doing my best?  How do I run the race without putting in every ounce of effort, without filling every possible spare moment with another thing to get done?  I am sometimes convicted that I need to run the race in such a way as to be used up by the end, and yet, when I give it my all, I burn out.  Fizzle and die in a sinful heap.  I don’t understand.  I thought I was doing what You wanted.  

Yet somehow, I have taken control, haven’t I?  Somewhere along the line, I made the switch from reliance upon Your power to get done what You willed to have done, to doing what I think should be done - by my own plan and my own power.  I want to stop striving.  Teach me how to run according to Your will!

Lord, with all my heart, I want to please You!  I fall so far short, which is why I am so thankful for Your grace.  I do please You, because You don’t see me when You look at me - You see Your Son.  I feel like the hemorrhaged woman in the street, knowing that if I but touch the fringe of Your garment (Mark 5:25-34) - or like the gentile to eat the crumbs from Your table (Matthew 15:21-28) - to but sip the dregs from Your cup, You would heal me and fill me with life.  I beg for what You have already given me - Lord, help me to see it!

Forgive me of my pride, my discontent.  Forgive me of my anxiety over how to make things work.  Forgive me of my idolatry and selfish thought.  Please give me a right focus.  Turn my eyes to You, for I cannot keep them there.  Let my gaze rest upon Your glory and weep with joy.  Let my mind grasp the magnitude of Your power, that I may remember Who it is that keeps my soul.  Grip me tightly, and let me feel the suffocation of Your embrace, that I might know that You will never let me go.  Help me to feel Your love, Lord - Abba.

Thank You for brokenness, that it brings us to You.  It is when I am broken before You that You can mold me to be more like Your Son.  “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17)

Thank You that when we seek You with all of our heart, You will be found.  (Jeremiah 29:13)  Help me to Meditate upon You day and night, that I might be filled with Your joy.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Weekly Impressions - More Often at Home

I am so glad that we are staying home more often.  Living far away from friends, job, school, babysitting, etc. has made it very difficult to be home.  However, when we make the effort to be home, I feel much better for being able to accomplish my wifely and motherly home tasks.  I find that the work that my husband is able to do on the house fills one of my wife’s desires, as well.

I’m not much of a homemaker.  I don’t cook much, I don’t mind if the house isn’t spic-and-span, and the laundry is usually just out of the dryer by the time it’s needed.  This is due partly to time, and partly to skills.  I’ve learned that this isn’t really a bad thing.  Most of my skills lie more in the visual and performing arts realm, and so I direct my attention to serving God in those.  

I do, however, have a responsibility to keep my home livable (an incredibly relative term), and to support my husband.  The more often we’re home, the better I feel about being able to meet that responsibility, since it usually gives me more time to devote to it.  

The Lord has taught me how not to be anxious over accomplishing my homemaking tasks:  to do and plan for what I can, and to know that anything more was not in God’s will for me for that day.  God has given me the ability to accomplish what I can, and would give me the strength, time, etc. to do more if He wanted it done.  As long as I have done my best, I can rest in His will for the day, and for the future.

Babysitting

Now that the holidays are past, and our family is over being sick, my husband and I were able to go out on a date night again.  This still wouldn’t have been possible, however, without babysitting.  Papa to the rescue!

I am thankful for babysitting, that the Lord made a way for my husband and I to “get away” to spend some time together.  I am also thankful that we haven’t had to pay for babysitting (yet) due to the help of both friends and relatives.  Their help has been invaluable.  I am thankful for Papa’s service of babysitting his grandchild, and I am thankful that my son gets to spend time with his grandfather.

While my husband and I have offered our services as babysitters, we honestly aren’t in a great position to actually do it, since we live so far away.  This means that I haven’t really been able to return the favor, and I look forward to the day when I can.  Friends and family are a huge blessing when it comes to babysitting!

His Work

The fact that I keep returning to this Pantry Project tells me that it’s a bit of a big deal in our lives - and there is much about it that I am thankful for.  My husband was able to return home today while I was at work and Nani babysat the little man.  There is much to be done yet, but I think he made a fair dent in it today.  

He capped off the other water pipe in the wall, cut out the tile for the rest of the cabinets, cut off the very bottom of the current broom closet so that we could move it, scraped off the popcorn ceiling it had left, and drywalled over the opening where a set of cabinets is that we’ll eventually open into our room.  He may well have done more, but that was what I saw.  Each time he works on our home, I feel taken care of.  Even if (and when) the project doesn’t go well, I know that he’s working toward making our home better.  His Perseverance in the matter reenforces that feeling, because it tells me that he means it.  His progress on it shows the Lord’s blessing, and I am thankful for that, too.

I am thankful that my husband works to better our living space.  I am thankful for his love shown through it, for his perseverance in it, and for the Lord’s work in our lives throughout.  I pray for the Lord’s continued blessing, and for the words and actions to encourage my husband.

Is there something someone does for you that you haven’t thanked them for or encouraged them in lately?