Hymns

I struggled a little more with selfishness this morning.  It started with cooking breakfast for my family.  I was in someone else’s kitchen (though I’m there often), and I still don’t have timing down when it comes to cooking.  I ended up burning some of the bacon, cooking the toast a little more than I liked, frying the eggs longer than I liked, and not getting the sausage quite warm enough.

“I thought breakfast was good,” my husband stated, his tone genuine.
“Well I didn’t,” I replied off-handedly.
“Well I did.”  I could hear the frustration and slight indignation in his voice, and knew that I wasn’t taking his desires into account.  I was frustrated simply because things weren’t going the way that I wanted them to.

This struggle lasted for a significant portion of the day.  I plunged into work, not wanting to think about it, but my focus hadn’t changed, so neither had my feelings.  I noted that my selfishness was prominent enough in my demeanor to show if someone came into my office.  There were two occasions when someone did enter, and I took special care to be friendly, but knew that my heart attitude was still in the wrong place.

There are times when I can use obedience in being friendly and helpful to others to change my focus and my attitude, but they weren’t around long enough to force me in that direction, and I wasn’t disciplined enough to try to continue with the demeanor.  It wasn’t until a special function took place later in the day that God got a hold of me with a hymn.  I wish I could remember which hymn it was, but I suppose that isn’t important.  The important thing is that hymns most often have a Christ-centered message that focuses more on God than on our worship of Him.

We sang a phrase that reminded me that my just, loving, and merciful God is in control.  My frustration simply melted away in the relaxed and contented knowledge that God is God and I am not.  I wish I wouldn’t deviate from that focus, but alas, I am a sinner, and fall far short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).  I praise Him that He is at work in my life - and that He is the One in control of that work.