Rules of Engagement

It seems that some things just can’t be understood without being able to talk them through with someone.  At the very least, it is an invaluable tool.  Rules are sometimes required to protect the innocent and ensure calm emotions, but that, too can be invaluable.

I have a difficult time holding ideas in my memory, so I often try to discuss things as they come up (which truly requires rules).  Otherwise, I can forget my point of view - or that I even had an issue - until it arises again.  Then the frustration rears up where it left off.

My husband and I have a system of “putting it on the table.”  We preface what we are about to say with something like “just so you know,” and we try to communicate how we feel rather than accusing the other person.  This way, you have communicated your issue without riling the other person’s emotions.  Instead, you have placed them on the table to be examined by both parties.  Then you can try to figure out what to do with them together.

There are many other “Rules of Engagement” in conversations, but I find myself most thankful for this one at the moment.  It allows us to resolve issues without splitting us apart - to be unified in Christ.

What are some Rules of Engagement that you use in discussions?