Our Families

Both of our families live in the area, so Thanksgiving is a bit of a shuffle between houses from one dinner to the next, but it’s worth it.  Unfortunately, I was sick this year, and so we were unable to make it to both.  We didn’t want to get the one family sick, but the other had given it to me, and the cold had already run its course through their bodies.  While we missed the one family, at least we did get to attend one Thanksgiving dinner with family.

One thing that I truly appreciate about both of our families (aside from getting to spend time with them!) is that they all support us in our marriage.  We are all here for one another, and can lean on one another during times of struggle.  Our families have both been through those hard times with us, and I am truly thankful for their love and support, without which things would have been even more difficult.

Are you struggling in your marriage right now?  If so, have you reached out to the support that God has given you in your family or close friends?  Even if they don’t know how to answer (should you have a question), their support can be a welcome relief.  If the problem is ongoing, perhaps it is time to prayerfully consider biblical counseling, if you haven’t already.  The Lord always provides the tools that we need to carry out His will and commands; we just need to be willing to use them, and to take the time and discipline required to then carry out His will.

Willing to Listen

I’ve been sick this past week, and haven’t been the most patient - the most selfless - wife.  I knew that I was struggling, and I was trying to deal with it.  Of course, it’s not the easiest thing when you want to be selfish, and must discipline yourself not to be.  It can take me awhile to get myself steered in the correct direction.  When I finally had, I told my husband that we needed to talk.

One of the things that I had planned to do was to ask forgiveness, but I also wanted to let my husband know about something that had been bothering me.  With him going to school, I have the main income burden, and it has started to wear a little harder on me lately.  We only have one semester left once we finish this one (a month away!), so it makes sense to continue, but I needed to let him know that I might need some extra encouragement and grace.

When I have something to tell him, I always appreciate that he is willing to listen.  No matter how hard it may be to hear, he wants to hear my thoughts and feelings and to take them into consideration.  That consideration may be a correction of my selfishness, etc., but he strives to do it out of his love for me, and as his role as my shepherd - my leader.  

We don’t always get it right, and we don’t always communicate clearly to one another, but when our hearts are in the right place, it goes a very long way, and not only fosters our unity, but creates a safety net out of that unity.  Our marriage is a safe place to talk.  God designed marriage as a life-long commitment for a reason, and I praise Him and thank Him for that wisdom.

Are you willing to listen?

His Loving Hand

Last night as I went to sleep, my husband placed a hand on my side.  He knew I was sick and not feeling well, and he just wanted me to know he loved me.  He does this often, and not just when I’m feeling poorly.  Sometimes he’ll give me a brief and light massage with his hand, and sometimes he’ll just rest its warm comfort on my skin.

He goes to sleep before I do most of the time, since I stay up a bit later to do my blog in bed.  Yet that hand will still often reach out its loving touch just to tell me he loves me.  It brings a smile to my face and even helps me relax a bit, if my thoughts are particularly pensive.  I tease him that, if he goes to sleep before me, he’s leaving me all alone, and I think that hand is partly a small reassurance that he’s there.  He sometimes lets it rest on me until he’s fallen asleep, at which point I may or may not remove it.

I am thankful for my husband’s loving hand, that it’s one of the ways in which he tells me that he loves me.  I thank the Lord that my husband didn’t choose to simply tell me he loved me once, and assume that took care of it, but that he instead understands that reaffirmation is incredibly helpful.  

We “reaffirm” our love to one another often, and it can manifest in different ways:  verbally, by touch, an act of service... it’s really as broad as your imagination, so long as you have explained it to your spouse.  There are also certain things that will speak more to your spouse (or to you) that may differ.  For example, his love is most real to me when he is touching me - even if he’s simply resting his hand on my side.  My love for him is most real to him when I show him my respect in submission.

When was the last time you told your spouse that you loved him or her?

His Tech Skills

Today was a stay home sick day.  It was also the last day of class for the Marriage and Family course of the Cornerstone Biblical Counseling Training Center.  This counseling training center is run through our church, of which I happen to be the secretary.  The last day of class means the first day of registration for the next course (which will be “Level 3:  Advanced Issues”), evaluation forms, certificates of completion, a cake (to be picked up from Costco), and the usual Keynote slides, teacher notes, and student handouts.  It would have been a very busy day at work.

Fortunately for me, I have willing coworkers, and a crazy tech guru for a husband.  So, despite staying home sick, I was able to remotely share my work computer’s screen, as well as access the files on the server at our church.  This meant that I was still able to create the slides for the presentation, as well as the student handout off of the teacher notes that the teacher sent me.  This also meant that I could print them all on the printer at work (sweet!).  (I also could have done the evaluations, registration forms, and certificates of completion given these tools, but my coworkers blessedly dealt with those for me so that I could get a little rest.)

Without my husband’s tech skills, I never would have been able to do all of that from home, and may even have needed to go into work today, at least for a little while.  This is but one example of why I am thankful for his tech skills, as he has given me a great many tools on my computer, iPhone, and AppleTV, not to mention even having those things.  Then there’s the projector, our awesome speakers, my midi controller keyboard (complete with hammered keys!), and our home network.  You can tell it’s one of his hobbies.  (Expensive, yes, but who isn’t willing to save and spend money on a hobby - especially one with such perks!)

All this to say that my husband’s tech skills have a significant (and positive) impact on my life.  I am thankful that God gave him the skill and passion for it, and I enjoy supporting him in it.  What are some of your spouse’s skills that you might be thankful for?

Sit and Talk

When we were courting, my husband and I talked a lot.  I would say that at least 80% of our time was spent sitting and talking to one another.  We had a lot to talk about, sharing beliefs, thoughts, ideas, goals, etc.  Soon after we were married, we both noticed a decrease in the amount of time we spent sitting and talking.  

It wasn’t that we didn’t want to, or that there was some mysterious switch that inverted when we married, it was that we ran out of things to talk about (or so we thought).  We already knew and shared our spiritual beliefs, we spent enough time together to know what was going on in each other’s lives - there didn’t seem to be much to talk about anymore.

I have missed it.  It isn’t just that I’m talking with my husband, it’s that I’m sharing with him and getting to know him better.  Certainly, I know a lot about him, but I will never be able to know everything.  Besides, things change, whether goals, or favorites, or plans, etc.  There are also periods of the day that I’m not with him.  I don’t have to know every detail, but I want to know how his day went, if anything stood out to him, and what he feels like doing and why.  I also want to share these of myself with him.

Today, my husband picked out a chunk of time for us to spend together, just the two of us.  What did we do?  We sat and talked!  (Though it may not have ended there...)  Husbands, just to let you know, to sit and talk with your wife is the next best thing to sex for her.  Talking enables you to know one another better.

I am thankful for the time that my husband carved out to sit and talk with me.  The more I know my husband, the easier it is for me to submit to him in unity - simply because I know his desires and goals.  If he can tell me the why of things during those times, it’s very helpful; I can begin to respond even before he asks (though I’ll still check in with him), which increases our efficacy.

It is amazing how God made wives and husbands to complement one another.  I pray that our focus remains on him, so that our “effectiveness” is put to His good use.  When was the last time you sat and talked with your spouse?

Weekly Impressions - Better than Life

Psalm 63:3

"Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise You."

Lord,

I know I have been selfish this past week - and especially in the last couple days.  Even as I recognized it, I had trouble pulling my focus back to You.  I thank You for Your patience.  Thank You that, no matter what we do, You still love us, having adopted us as Your children.  Thank You that I am learning to be more like You, despite my failings.  Thank You for Your Divine Power that grants us everything that we need for life and godliness.  (2 Peter 1:3)

Thank You for the ability to live in Your Joy.  Thank You that we don’t have to focus on ourselves, and for being who You are.  Thank You that You also give us others here on whom to pour Your love.  Help me especially to remember to pour out Your love to my husband.

Your lovingkindness is better than life.  I am overwhelmingly privileged to live in Your love.

Thank You, Lord,

Amen.

Time Relaxing Together

Tonight was a lovely evening of time spent together with my husband.  We arrived home much earlier than usual, and made use of the time to relax and attend to our hobbies while still spending time with each other.  

First, we watched the most recent of an anime show that we enjoy.  Then, we listened to our current audiobook.  We let it play most of the night as we did other things.

I decided to take a break from working on my book’s formatting (almost done! I think...), and knitted awhile, enjoying the relaxation.  I did also get the laundry done.  My husband worked a bit on sharpening the plane he plans to use (which is pretty neat, since it was my great grandfather’s) when we paint our interior doors.  Our kitty came in and out during the evening, and we had put our son to bed upon arriving home.

It was wonderful to spend some time relaxing with my husband.  He even gave me a massage, too.  I do rather love spending time with my sweetheart, and we don’t often get to relax together.  I usually think that I should always be doing something productive, which seems to translate as always being busy.  Yet, I think, it is good to relax while being productive, too.  If you can find something like that - and even to be able to do it in company with your husband who is doing the same - then I think you will find a measure of God’s blessing in feeling content and fulfilled.

That’s not to say that you do, in fact, always have to be productive.  That is something slightly below a conviction for me that I wrestle with, but enjoy when I can satiate the feeling.  Though if you really wanted to split hairs, rest itself is, in fact productive, when used wisely.  

Trips to the Store

We have been intending to go to the store for a little while now, as there are a few sundry groceries that we need to buy.  Actually getting there has been the trick.  My husband meant to go yesterday, while I was out having fun, but forgot.  So I found a little time tonight after the little man went to sleep.

Thanks to grandparents, I was able to leave, and even had the luxury to take my time.  I prefer to take my time at the store for the simple reason that I often forget things.  Even with lists, as I peruse through the store, I often find things that I forgot to add.  I find it fulfilling to be able to take a trip to the store when my husband can’t - especially if I can take my time and be sure that I bought everything that we needed.

I am thankful for trips to the store, that in them, the Lord provides a way for me to serve my husband (and family).  I’m not much of a homemaker, but I am finding the desire to learn more and more of late.  (I think that, in part, I have this thankful exercise to thank for that; I see more and more of what my husband does for me, and want to do things for him in return.)  As the Lord brings to light new ways in which I can serve my husband, I find myself thankful for them.  (Not that a trip to the store was new, but the Lord has begun to show me new ways.)  When my heart is in the right place, it is a blessing to serve.

Go Have Fun

My husband has class on Tuesday night, which is also the night of our Community Group.  Instead of having a continual season for community groups, our church has sessions and breaks.  We just finished one such session, and many of the groups meet a few times in between.  Ours decided to have a game night.

As it happened, my husband had an exam that night, which meant that he would be finished with school a bit early and could come.  However, he came down sick the day before, and was unable to come.  Whenever he has to stay home while I’m out, I always feel a little pull not to leave him.  He, however, is more than willing to let me go have fun.  Even if it means taking care of the little man by himself.

His willingness is freeing.  I can go have fun with friends knowing that he really doesn’t mind that I’m not with him.  In fact, he’s glad that I’m out having fun.  It’s times like those that my Savior’s heart shines through my husband.  I love my husband - and am quite thankful that he will tell me to “Go have fun!”

The Midnight Watch

Our two-year-old son has recently been waking up in the middle of the night.  I’m not quite sure what the cause is, but I do think that he hasn’t been eating enough, and may be waking up hungry.  In any case, my husband has decided to take over "the midnight watch.”

This is a real blessing for me, as my sleep has been pretty hit-and-miss as to whether or not I wake up refreshed.  It isn’t that I’m up at night thinking - I’ve actually gone to sleep rather well lately.  It’s that my actual sleep may be restful one night, and then not for the next three.  As to the reason, I can only guess that my physical issues play a factor.

I am thankful that my husband takes the midnight watch for me.  I hear our son’s cries first, but he has me wake him up so that he can deal with it while I rest.  Once again, I am blessed by my Savior’s ministry to me through my husband.

Budgeting

Finances are one of those things that it’s easy to get stressed over - especially if you aren’t on the same page as your spouse.  We were blessed to attend Financial Peace University.  We budgeted before going - and weren’t so bad off - but the tools and concepts we learned there (like spending every dollar ahead of time and how to be on the same page with one another) have helped us to really make our money count.  It’s why they call their university “Financial Peace.”

Our budget has been a bit tight for awhile now, with my husband going to school.  Looking back, though, I realize that I haven’t been stressed over it.  Sure, we haven’t been able to do some things we want to, and have been leery about spending a fortune on my physical issues (which can be a black hole), but we haven’t been stressed about it.  

Budgeting isn’t the only reason for our lack of stress, but it is definitely instrumental.  We have sought to follow God in each major step we’ve taken (school, work, buying a house, etc.), and know that God will care for our needs no matter our circumstances.  He is sovereign over those circumstances, and nothing is outside His jurisdiction.  Knowing this, we plan our finances with one another on a month-to-month basis, and have held onto our emergency fund.  We haven’t been in debt (except for our home) for about four years now, and that, too, is a blessing.

I am thankful for budgeting, that God, in His wisdom, created a way for a husband and wife to not only express their unity in their finances, but also to be good stewards of the resources that He has given us.  I look forward to what God will use our budgeting to accomplish.

Weekly Impressions - Every Thought Captive

My focus is so important.  Whatever is the object of my focus is also what I am putting on the throne of my heart.  It can be difficult to keep that focus on God - to give Him all of my worship (which is mostly due to my shifting focus), - and to live my life in the light of a focus on Him.  “...Christ is all, and in all.” (Colossians 3:11c)

God has allowed my chronic pain to worsen, and it can be hard not to focus on the pain.  It is so constant, and no doctor seems to have an explanation, nor a treatment.  Yet, as I continue to remind myself, my hope is not in doctors, or lack of pain, or treatments, or man.  My hope is in the Lord.

I am to “...take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ[.]”  (2 Corinthians 10:5b)  Christ is no less my Savior, and no less sovereign over my circumstances.  When I can bring my focus around to Him, and remember that He has put this trial in the lives of my family for our good, and for the good of His children, then I can be thankful.  I can rejoice and sing praises to the One who is worthy of more than I can give.  Praise the Lord for His good will!

His Understanding

As things degenerate with my chronic condition, I cannot express how much I appreciate my husband’s understanding.  I haven’t been able to do as much, whether it’s the chores, taking care of our two-year-old, or even (this past week) to not go to work for a day.  There has been no accusation that I’m shirking my responsibilities or being lazy, and he has picked up some of the slack that I have dropped.  

I do think this is due (at least in small part) to our communication.  I have tried to be intentional about letting him know how I’m feeling, and he has been asking what I would like to get done.  Between the two, we are able to give and take to do what needs to be done.  Having that understanding with him relieves a huge weight of responsibility that I know I would put on myself otherwise.  In a way, it’s as though he supports my conclusion that I shouldn’t (or perhaps can’t) do as much.  The Lord has given me a true blessing in having that understanding with my husband.

I pray that the Lord would continue to guide us in our understanding of and with one another.  I thank the Lord for my husband's ministry to me of understanding.

Trusting to God's Care

I stayed home from work today.  Not due to sickness, just a combination of exhaustion and pain from my pinched nerve and fibromyalgia.  Last night when I went to bed, I knew that I would be a mess in the morning if I didn’t get a really good night’s sleep.  It’s no coincidence that the Lord chooses those times to assure that I’m relying on Him.

I pulled the covers over me last night in order to enter the land of sleep, knowing that I needed to place my hope in the Lord rather than in getting rest that night.  It was a good thing, because I woke up several times during the night, whether for the cat or my two-year-old son.  (His stall tactics - “Hug!” “Kiss!” - are still cute, even in the midst of exhaustion.)  It was a fight to keep my hope in the Lord and not to want rest more than to serve Him, but He sustained me through the night.

The verse that helps me in these situations is 1 Peter 2:23b “...while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously[.]”  This verse comes after a command to submit to every authority that God has put above you.  It’s a reminder to me that God is in control of every authority in my life, and that I should entrust myself to Him.  I see my circumstances as God’s authority, too, and can still entrust myself to Him in the midst of those.

When the alarm went off in the morning, I just couldn’t bring myself to get up.  Both of us were tired, and we hit the snooze button for half an hour.  My husband rose and did some exercises, fed the cat, and started getting our son up before I even roused myself out of bed.  

I’ve been struggling with the balance between being lazy and needing rest of late, so I kept pushing myself.  I wasn’t worth much, even after breakfast, and my arms have felt more and more useless of late.  I still have full use of them, I think it just takes a little more effort to use them than it might if my nerve weren’t pinched.  In the end, I decided it would be better to rest for a couple of hours and then see if I’d be any good to work.  

The Lord knew that I needed rest, and while He didn’t provide it at the time that made the most sense to me, He provided it in His own timing.  I am thankful to be able to entrust myself to God’s care, because He knows what’s best far better than I do.

I am also thankful that He used my husband today to care for me.  He gave me little back rubs, encouraged me, and offered to make me lunch.  Yes, I am thankful to entrust myself to God's care.

I Love that You're Mine

My husband and I use this phrase a lot with each other - because it’s true.  I love holding him and feeling him, because he’s mine.  He is God’s gift to me, and mine to enjoy.  It’s a part of what marriage is.

He told me just this morning that he loved that I was his.  That phrase fills me with contentment and joy.  I know that just as God gave him to me, God also gave me to my husband, and it is a joy to glorify God through that relationship.  Through thick and thin, no matter the circumstance or trial, we are still one another’s.

We may not always feel our love for one another, but our feelings are not our guides.  God guides us through the truth of His Word and power of the Holy Spirit.  That is how we can love when we don’t feel like it.  Even when we sin, God is still faithful to use the outcome for our good.  There is always more to learn through His reproof.

I thank the Lord that my husband is mine - and that I am my husband’s.  May we seek Christ first in our marriage, and thereby glorify Him.  May we willingly and humbly accept His reproof and His teaching, that we might serve Him better.

Reminiscing

My husband and I went out for our date night tonight and got to reminiscing about the past eleven years that we’ve been together (married for eight).  It was enjoyable to go back through different stages of our relationship and to sort through how we might have done things differently, but still see God’s hand throughout.

We met in youth group, but didn’t take much notice of one another until high school.  It was my senior year that I told him that I wasn’t interested in a relationship beyond friendship; I planned to be an old crone (no really... I did!).  One month later, he came to me and told me that he wanted to court me with the intent of marriage... and by that time, as I tell the story, he had “wormed his way in.”  I agreed - and not begrudgingly.

Almost a year later, and after I had graduated and turned 18, he proposed.  He had just been laid off from his job about a month or so earlier, but had saved up enough for the ring, plus a bit more.  We planned on waiting a year-and-a-half to get married.  Some issues came up during the premarital counseling, and we postponed the wedding an additional five months, but we married and have done our best.

It has been an interesting journey through different jobs, financial situations, sin issues, family tensions, and truth-seeking, but God has been faithful.  God’s work has produced more maturity and significant spiritual growth in both of us, and we are both thankful for that.  

I am thankful for reminiscing, that we can learn from past mistakes, but mostly that God shows Himself faithful.  It is a great reminder of the One whom I serve.

Emotions: Not a Dictatorship

I am so glad that God did not create my emotions to rule me.  True, it can be hard not to sin in the face of emotions, but they do not dictate my actions.  Christ has that role in my life, not my emotions.  I am so thankful that He - the unchanging I AM - is the Rock upon which I can place all of my trust, and to carry out His will, rather than letting my shifting emotions rule me (and thus, be my god).

I haven’t been as successful of late at ruling my emotions - especially anger - but Christ is using that to not only reveal more of my sin issues to me, but to help me to grow to be more like Him through it.  Practice, practice.  Today was a fair example.

It was a big day at our church of counting all of the pledges and gifts that we have thus far received toward our building campaign.  I thought I had told my husband that I would be counting after second service (which would leave him with our little man), but either had forgotten, or wasn’t very clear.  I finished counting and came out to help him with the little man to discover that he was rather frustrated with me.  I felt a range of emotions at this, beginning with anger, traveling to disappointment, and ending in a sense of frustrated loss.  I thought I did everything I could to help.  Why wasn’t it enough?

As I considered my thoughts, I realized that my anger wasn’t righteous, and that it was a result of a wrong focus.  I was focusing on myself and my husband, and God wasn’t at the head of it.  That anger, disappointment, and sense of loss didn’t have to rule my day.  I could let it, but that would also be denying God the throne of my heart - denying Him the worship that He is due.  I would rather bring Him glory, and let the grace that He gave me extend from my own heart to my husband.  It was really only due to a miscommunication, anyway, and I had played my own part in it.

The rest of my day wasn’t dampened by emotions of anger, frustration, or disappointment.  I was content.  When God is truly my focus, and on the throne of my heart, other priorities (even selfish ones) pale in comparison.  There is Joy, contentment, and peace in His throne room.  Emotions, to be sure, but even these emotions aren’t my dictators.  Christ is.

What or who ruled your heart today?

Weekly Impressions - My Leader

I think I have mentioned my husband’s leadership in every post this week... and that simply testifies to the immense impact it has had on our relationship.  I am very thankful for this higher step in his leadership.  It has made it a lot easier to understand my role as a wife, and how to support him.  Things just seem to fall into place (easier).

When he takes leadership and plans our day, I have a goal to work toward with him.  I submit my own ideas for his consideration, and he works out how to incorporate them.  Then, as the day progresses, we are able to achieve our goals.  If you have gone through Financial Peace University (with Dave Ramsey), you are familiar with the idea of spending every dollar in your budget.  It is much the same, except with our time and resources in our marriage to meet our goals.  And, just as that pre-spent dollar goes further, our pre-planned time and resources accomplish more, and with more efficiency.

It has only been a week, and I haven’t encountered one of the tough times in which I need to submit despite disagreement.  I actually look forward to it, though, because it will help us (me, more specifically) to grow.  It will test my communication, which will help me to practice it better, and it will grow my understanding of the Lord’s way of doing things, as I learn more of the how and why to submit when I disagree.  I thank the Lord for His perspective, and pray for His patience during the future time when I am called to submit despite my disagreement. 

Leadership

As my husband continues in biblical counseling, he is learning more and more about how to lead.  The latest area he has been learning about is that of a wife’s duties.  How is this pertinent to him?  He needs to know what is appropriate to expect of me.  

His standard in regard to the house is pretty low (by his own admission), which leaves me to my own standards.  However, I hadn’t realized how... well... stressful that was for me.  Not necessarily because my own standards were too high, but because I didn’t know what was expected of me.

Today (with the start of my monthly), my emotions were pretty haywire and I had quite a bit of trouble reining them in.  I was also quite tired, and really didn’t want to work on the house while I tended to my little two-year-old man.  I struggle at times with whether or not this is an issue of laziness, or that my chronic issues are calling for a needed timeout.  These, and a couple other factors, led to a tearful breakdown this morning.

My husband came and held me, and I communicated to him the above issues that I was struggling with.  He helped me to take one step at a time, and to pull back from my scattered wits and see God.  He came up with a reasonable chore or two, and communicated those expectations well.  It was then that I truly relaxed.  Not to say that this was the reason that I hadn’t been relaxed, but knowing exactly what was expected and that it was well within my current abilities - hurting and tired or not - was a very nice place to be.

My Savior has been working through my husband in a big way through leadership, and I am very thankful for that.  I pray that our understanding of one another (and of God) continues to increase and bear God’s fruit.

Help with Chores

In his endeavor to lead our family, my husband has asked me for a list of the chores that I would like to get done (specifically on the house) and the reason why I would like to do them (including my set time frames, etc.)  For the most part, they were fairly self-explanatory, but the exercise helped me to get a bit of practice at telling him my desire behind the desire, so-to-speak.  

For example, I desire to vacuum once a week because it makes it take less time to vacuum, since the dirt hasn’t had as much time to settle.  The desire behind this, of course, is that I desire a clean home, because I desire to honor God and a healthy environment for my family.  There’s quite a trail there to get to the root desire, and the more I follow those trails back, the better I can communicate my desires to my husband, and the better opportunity he has to take those into Consideration, and to lead our family well.

After discussing my list with him - and the desires behind it - he has begun to help me here and there with chores (score!).  He will plan our time so that I have a little time to get a few done, and he helps me so that we can make the most of our time.  We are working together.  It has really become less that he’s helping me and more that I’m helping him - which is exactly the way it should be.  Not that I don’t have responsibility, but that he is truly the one in charge and directing our family.

I am thankful for his help with chores, for the love he shows through it, and for the unity we experience in it.  I thank the Lord for His work in my husband, and I pray that my focus remains steadfast in serving my Savior through serving my husband, lest I place my goals or my husband on the throne of my heart instead of God.

Daylight Saving

My husband has been working on how best to lead our family, and made the decision to use Daylight Saving to help us get up and running earlier in the day.  So, instead of getting up an hour “later,” we have gotten up at the “same” time.  There are a few adjustments that aren’t as desirable, but he has taken my concerns into consideration, and we are finding ways to make things work.

So far, it has worked pretty well, and our mornings are far less rushed.  I can get a couple quick chores done in the morning - which he will help with, if possible - and then we can be on our way with our little man.  Mornings are not an easy thing for me, and Daylight Saving has made it easier, since I’m still getting up at the “same” time (an hour earlier) and have a far less rushed morning to start the day.

I am thankful for the way my husband decided to use Daylight Saving, and for the way God is using it in our lives.  What is God using in your marriage?

Consideration

My husband and I have been working on our communication with one another.  Part of that has been (for me) to realize that he wants to hear my desires so that he can take them into consideration in his decisions.  That consideration is a huge blessing, both in the assurance that my husband cares, and in the effect his knowledge of my desires has on his decisions.

I am thankful for his consideration, and that it is born of my Savior’s grace at work in my husband’s heart.  I am thankful that my husband is stepping up and learning more about how to lead our family, and that he is also being sensitive to our needs within that.

Checking In

My husband has been making an effort of late to check in with me to see what I want to do - what I want to get done, if I want to rest, my priorities, and my desires in general.  It has been nice, as his motive is to take responsibility and lead our family in our activities and time.  

Our main struggle has been in our definition of terms, and realizing what we are actually asking of one another.  For instance, when he asks me what I want to do, he isn’t really asking what I’d like to accomplish that day, he’s asking what my desires are behind the tasks that I want to accomplish.  It’s twisting my brain around a bit, as I don’t usually think that way.  It’s good exercise.

I am thankful that he checks in with me, and that God uses that to refine our communication.  I pray that we continue to know one another better, and to improve in the area of communication - and thus, in our unity.

Weekly Impressions - Regard for Others

Today was my husband’s birthday, and from the moment I realized it in the morning, my perspective changed as to how the day “should” go.  I immediately sought what he wanted over what I wanted.  It was his day.

That brings up the question in my mind... why don’t I do that every day?  Doesn’t the Bible say to “...regard one another as more important than yourselves...”?  (Philippians 2:3)  It gave me a tangible application as to what that might look like:  like the way I treat him on his birthday.

This does, of course, have its limits.  There are certain things that it’s okay to “shun” for a day for the sake of a celebration that shouldn’t be “shunned” on a regular basis.  Chores, for instance.  Yet even those should be subject to my husband’s priorities - ours align in that regard, thanks to communication, but the principle remains.

I thank the Lord that my husband lives with me “...in an understanding way...” (1 Peter 3:7) and usually reciprocates that regard of me as more important than himself.  His servant leadership is a tremendous help to our marriage, and I appreciate the example to follow.  I am also glad that the Lord revealed the contrast of my attitude from that of a normal day, and pray that He gives me wisdom in the application of the principle.

Playing Together

My husband and I both enjoy video games - especially when we get to play together.  Not only do we get to play something we love together, but we get to work together toward a common goal.  In a way, I can work on submitting to him and being his helper in working toward his goals, and he can practice servant-leadership in helping to accomplish my goals.  It makes for an interesting (and fun!) dynamic.

Not that we’re necessarily bearing that in mind at all times during the course of our play, but it does come into play, so to speak.  It’s another reminder that, as christians, our world view really does affect everything that we do.  All things are for the glory of God.

May that mindset and the knowledge of His will seep ever deeper into my life, that I may, indeed, reflect His glory.